Being coupled, comes with a unique set of rewards and challenges. One of the most prominent challenges that can occur with being coupled is that each person has is mentally and emotionally different.
In a perfect world, being coupled would mean that we could read our partners every mood and anticipate one another’s needs without words. In fact, in the first stages of being coupled we often strive for this, but sometimes the longer that we are partnered with another the blame game sneaks in. If the blame sticks around for long enough, can lead to irreconcilable differences, fraud and infidelity leading to making leaving appear more attractive and worthwhile than fighting to stay together.
Is it possible that many of the issues with being coupled could be fixed? Perhaps this is where we can take a page from one of the most fascinating creatures, the seahorse and learn a thing or two.
Lesson 1: It takes regular effort to strengthen a relationship.
Seahorses mate for life. Each morning they preform an elaborate courtship display with each other that serves to reinforce their commitment to each other.
Lesson 2: Be flexible, but also tough and strong.
Although technically a fish, the seahorse has a tail that has largely lost the ability to assist it with swimming. Instead, it provides a strong, energy efficient grasping mechanism to cling to things.
At the same time the way that the tail is structured provides flexibility; it can bend and twist, and naturally returns to its former shape.
Lesson 3: The power of agreement is formidable. A relationship cannot thrive if the people involved don’t have a sense of ownership.
The female seahorse has a territory of about 1.4 sq. meters and males have a territory of about 0.5 meters. Their territories overlap.
What lesson could your relationship benefit most from? We can’t be perfect in our relationships, but we can do things that will make them stronger.
~Janelle Adams, MA, LMFT, ATR