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3 Ways more Passion can change your life!- Tony Daltoso, MA, LMHC


With Valentine’s day dropped square into the middle of it, February is unofficially Passion month. In honor of Passion month I thought I would share 3 ways More Passion can change your life for the better (and no this is not the ploy of a husband trying to get more hanky panky from his wife). Of course we always think of Passion as Romantic Love. But this is 3 distinct and useful ways of looking at Passion that will each make you more successful be it in your personal,  professional, or  love life. 


The 3 ways of looking at Passion are…

Passion as the secret ingredient 

Passion as Suffering (no for real, it helps)

Passion as Raw Emotion

And in honor of Valentine’s Day, I endeavor to explain all 3 using examples from my own Valentine’s favorite things (Baby girl, you know who you are).  So today we will be looking at…

Passion as the Secret Ingredient.

My valentine loves to cook and always prepares our family delicious meals. She often introduces me to new foods, flavors, and spices that I either never knew exist, or that I knew of but never thought could taste so good. Such as it is with Passion. 

Back in October,  I wrote a post on Grit as it was Resilience month. Grit has been a popular buzz word in recent years, hailed by authors and speakers as a key to success and it has been championed by Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carrol as a trait he seeks in his players. Grit is defined as “Passion + Perseverance.” This is the “Grit formula” or “recipe” if you will; 

G = P+P. 

1 cup passion, 

1 cup perseverance, 

Stir consistently until smooth, 

Bake in the fires of intense competition. 

In The Grit Recipe, Perseverance is the substance.  Like in a cake, it’s the flour. The flour is the essence of the cake, the thing it is made of. The thing that gives it shape, texture and consistency. It is what makes it “bakeable” if you pardon me making up words. But  it’s not what makes the cake delicious. Passion is the flavor, the spice, the caramel drizzle baked in and then added between layers of that cake. What separates one cake from another is the Passion. 

Another way to say this is perseverance is a requirement for success but it alone doesn’t make you successful. Passion is what you need to add to perseverance to make success. Passion is the magic or the secret ingredient, but it doesn’t work by its self. 

We know what perseverance means. It means continuous hard work, without giving up or quitting. It is consistency and diligence. When the going gets tough, the tough getting going. 

We know hard work is essential for success in life, work, and love. But hard work in and of its self doesn’t yield success. In our cake recipe a cake of hard work might be described as perfectly baked, smooth rich texture, light, moist,  and tastelessly bland. 

Passion is the flavor. It is what makes the perfectly baked cake delicious. So the obvious question here is what flavor is passion? It is your uniqueness, the things you care most about, your hopes and dreams. Passion is the Flavor of You. Hard work is essential, but it only produces success when it has your heart and soul mixed in it. 

Another example of passion as the secret ingredient comes come my Valentine’s favorite show,  Doctor Who. If you are a dense American with an aversion to things brought “across the pond” by people wearing suits with too many buttons (like I am),  you may be unaware of this BBC show and it’s rather involved plot line. Suffice to say, the title character periodically changes human form and therefore every few years the actor portraying this character changes. At this point in time I believe they are on the 13th different actor playing the same character. This time it’s a woman, where as the previous 12 were all men. The character as written has been the same for 50 years. They are simply “The Doctor.” This is the perseverance in the this “Gritty television drama.” It is the unique flavor of the respective actors (and now actress) that have made the show a world wide sensation. Each actor has brought their own passion to the character, as opposed to just adopting the character as written or as previously portrayed. Not only that but the influence of each previous  actor on the subsequent portrayal creates a richness of character unmatched perhaps in I the history of TV and film (or so my valentine tells me). 

Simply put Passion as the the secret ingredient is putting your heart and soul into your present endeavor. When you do this you produce work that is unique and therefore unable to be matched. This is the quality that drives success. As you will see in the next two posts, the concept of pouring yourself into your work this Dovetails nicely with the other ways of looking at Passion. 

Be sure to check back tomorrow for part 2: Passion and Suffering. And Part 3: Passion as Raw Emotion on Valentine’s Day. 


~ Tony Daltoso

Janelle Adams, MA, LMFT, ATR Janelle Adams, MA, LMFT, ATR, offers her extensive expertise to help people of all ages from all walks of life to lead happy, balanced lives. Through her work at In Touch Counseling Services in Vancouver, Washington, she delivers care and treatment designed to address mental health disorders, relationship challenges, physical health problems, and more. Janelle takes a holistic, integrative approach with each person she sees at In Touch Counseling Services. She knows that each individual’s experiences and difficulties are unique. She blends a variety of treatments — including ancient treatments like acupuncture and leading-edge approaches like Alpha-Stim® cranial electrotherapy stimulation — based on the individual’s specific needs and preferences. As a registered art therapist (ATR) and licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), Janelle can draw on her extensive experience to help each patient.

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